So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
