We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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