Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
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I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
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