drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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