I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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