No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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