Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
