i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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