her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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