..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
and she was petting her beer can
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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