I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
