Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
