Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
