It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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