He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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