Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
