That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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