he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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