i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
