You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
