Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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