i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize