Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
