sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
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Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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