Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
