I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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