Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
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There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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