also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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