Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
