We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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