so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
