haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
