we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
