did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
