He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
