Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
