Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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