I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
