Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
