You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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