Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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