You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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