Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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