dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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