i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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