well you can't waste a boner
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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