My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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