she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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