My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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