a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
