Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
