Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The struggles of a small town man whore
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
