the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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