im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
