Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize