things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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